i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
