hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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