Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize