I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
