youre lurking in front of me
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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