you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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