He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
