Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize