I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
