Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
