don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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