Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
