dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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