So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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