Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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