I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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