Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
