adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
