I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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