um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
