But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize