Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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