are you so shy because you have an std?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
