Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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