i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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