Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
