Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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