who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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