I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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