I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
