There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
