Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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