i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize