did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
