You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
