my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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