new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
