Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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