This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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