Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just had sex on a roof
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
