Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
