your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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