I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
