I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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