He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she looked like the before picture.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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