Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
