I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
