No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
