Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize