3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
