I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
