Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
