Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize