You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
