you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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