Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
