for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
