I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
