Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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