You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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